Titillating Tuesdays #2

On Why You Should Believe You Are Sexy

Why?  Because you’re fucking sexy.  Period.

Let me break it down from the perspective of a woman who just recently accepted that she is in fact sexy.

The bottom line is that there are so many images and ideas in our culture dictating what is sexy that us mere mortals hardly ever feel truly sexy.  Think of the sexiest person, image, or scenario you can imagine.  Having recently watched ‘Taking Lives’, mine involves Angelina Jolie.  For you it may be something different, but I’m writing this article, not you, so we’re sticking with Angelina, got it?!

Not to ruin the movie or anything, but at one point, she opens her hotel room in a loose, thin robe and the look on her face just screams “I want the D!”  Watching that, my first thought was “I could never be that sexy.”  First, I do not look like Angelina Jolie.  Secondly, I have always considered myself far too self-conscious and reserved to even suggest with a look that I want the D.

But then there’s the issue of my latest paramour, who has told me repeatedly that I’m in fact dripping with sexuality.  What?  Me?  Naw.  I’m funny, smart, cute, sometimes spirited, but not sexy.

Except I am.  All those attributes I just described and many more make me one sexy beast.  I don’t need to be in any particular clothing or look like any particular model of beauty to be sexy.  So how did I accept this and begin to believe it?

One of my favorite axioms is “Fake it till you make it.”  If you aren’t accustomed to being ‘sexy’, pretending to be sexy will get you at least half way there.  Let me give an example.  I have a friend who I think is incredibly sexy.  She’s sensual and doesn’t even seem to try.  A few months ago we were getting to know a couple gentlemen on a double-date of sorts (if you consider going home with a couple cute guys from a bar a date). 

When asked what music we wanted to hear, we of course shouted out “PITBULL” in unison because if I’m drinking, nothing brings out my inner slut faster than hearing that man sing “Yo no quiero agua, yo quiero bebida, Mami tu eres loca no te hagas la fina”.  My friend starts to dance and I’m thinking, “Great, she’s sooo sexy, these guys are going to forget I exist.” 

I want to take a moment to point out jealousy over who’s garnering more male attention is a fatal flaw in our collective society as women and we need to work to destroy it every time we encounter it.  Moving on.

Before I let myself be consumed by oddly jealous thoughts of someone I love as much as my friend, I decided to try pretending to be sexy.  I thought, these guys don’t know I scrapped my knee the week before in a swimming pool (yeah, I’m that clumsy).

So I rose in all my fake sexy glory, closed my eyes, and started to groove.  And I kept on groovin’, till the guy I wanted to groove with couldn’t help himself and grooved with me.  And we grooved baby, oh boy did we groove. 

At one point, he pulled me close and whispered, “Oh damn, you’re sexy”.  That was nice, and the intended result, but I was already feeling it before he said it. 

And that’s the point of faking it till you make it.  Others will see you as sexy if you feel it for yourself first.  You will attract people to you with the confidence sexy people have.  The fun of being sexy is that you don’t have to work that hard, and for the moments when you’re just going with what feels good and pleasurable, you can relax and enjoy your body (and hopefully other bodies) in a way that doesn’t require too much thinking.  ¡Qué lindo!

Internet points to whoever adds up how many times I used the words ‘sexy’ and ‘groove’!

Be Prepared!

Most of my time I am working on a campaign I am "in the field". This means I am usually away from the office talking to voters either by knocking on doors or going to events. Long hours and little sleep meant I needed to try and take care of myself. 

So I created what I called a Campaign/GOTV kit (Get Out The Vote)

Here are some of the items I would throw in my tote bag or car:

Mini First Aid Kit: You can usually find this at a dollar store. I took out the components I probably wouldn't use to make room for extra band-aids and Picot (it's like Alkaseltzer but non-aspirin.) 

Hand lotion: Once I worked in a hospital and I was constantly washing my hands to deflect germs. I needed this lotion (I suggest the Jergens Ultra Healing) You can get it travel size.

Baby Wipes: I love these. I can wash my hands, face whatever using these. Also good for wiping down a gross table. I would get the giant packs from Target and keep one in my car. I would take a bunch out and put in a sandwich baggie to save some money.

Travel Tylenol: I always have Tylenol with me. I am allergic to aspirin and ibuprofen. I keep it on me just to make sure I have it when I need it. The little travel tube is also convenient for refilling or storing other things.

Wisps: I love these! Great for if you don't have a chance to brush your teeth but need fresh breath/mouth. I follow it up with a mint for longer fresh breath.

Health: I put this on there because I think it is extremely important to take care of yourself. I keep a small sandwich baggie with vitamins, allergy medicine, and cough drops. These little things help me in a pinch when I need it. 

Couple extras I added: Tide Pen, travel deodorant, and sunscreen.

It seems like a lot to tote around but worth it if you are gonna be out and about. Great for trips, traveling, campaigns, and people who generally work away from these conveniences. 

Pinterest Clusterfuck

I get a lot of inspiration from my friends and family. Most of which "pin" a shit ton. I spend so much time re-pinning and making the hard decision to chose what makes it on my board (mostly if it is adorable or I am drooling it will made the cut)

Here is a round up of some of my favorite pins from this week:
(Click the title to be taken to the pin!)

Bricoche Brunch Cassarole

(You need to scroll through the other yumminess on the page to find this but totally looks amazing)

Home made cleaner
(First it looks fucking cool, second you don't have to smell the fumes)

Cool coffee table!
(I am actually going to make this for my new place! Currently using a plastic shelf thing ugh)

Game of Thrones mugs
(So first I must note that Khaleesi is my Queen! She is the rightful heir to the throne. Anyways these really cute and I love them.)

Animal parts magnets
(Imagine a fridge covered in wildlife; gold, sparkling wildlife.)

Banana Oat Muffins
(Not made with any oil or flour!)

Pineapple Whip 
(Seems healthy and delish)

Check out the stuff of my Pinterest here: Jackki HB's Pinterest

Hope you found some inspiration too!

New Series: Titillating Tuesdays!

I am happy to welcome the first guest post for this new series, Titillating Tuesdays! Our guest blogger (Ms. Anon) brings her perspective on sex and relationships.

Check out her new post:

On Why You Shouldn’t Fuck Anyone Who Argues With You About Safe-Sex and Using Protection

Why?  Because they’re assholes.  Period. 

Well, let me elaborate, from the perspective of a woman asking a man to use a condom.

What form of birth control you use is a personal decision that should be influenced by public knowledge that unprotected sexual intercourse can, and will lead to unintended pregnancies and the transmission of disease.

With that being said, there are a number of men who believe it is acceptable to have sex without a condom.  This may work well in the confines of a monogamous relationship, but let’s say you’re an ‘ethical slut’ (more on this later) and having just met someone, have decided you can’t wait to jump their bones.

First, congrats on following through with your desires- sex is fun and pleasure is good for you!  Second, where’s the condom?

A decent man will either gladly wear whatever freebies you got from your local Planned Parenthood or provide his own. Seriously, the willingness to wear a condom simply makes you decent.  You don’t deserve an award or ‘Nice Guy’ designation for being a responsible adult.

Now onto the dredge of society I like to call ‘I-just-don’t-like-the-way-it-feels-Guy’.  He will say he can’t orgasm with a condom on.  He will say it doesn’t fit right (shoulda brought your own cowboy).  He will say he won’t fuck you with a condom on.

At this point in my life, I just don’t have sex with men who give me any flack about wearing a condom.  This may seem harsh, but take a moment to think about the lack of respect it takes for a person to decide that regardless of the potential life-long health risks you both run, he thinks it’s more important that he be able to cum faster.

If you decide you’re willing to fuck someone who shows an obvious disregard for something this basic (maybe it’s a one-night stand and you could care less, I get it and have been there friend), there is a lot of internet advice on how to delicately ask “Why won’t you just fucking wear one?!”

Honestly, this advice is cloying- one should not manipulate or cajole anyone into something that needs to be as explicitly stated as safe sexual practices.  So here it is, the only thing you need to say to No-Condom-Guy:

“This is my preferred method of protection/birth control.  If you won’t wear one, I can’t have sex with you.”

That’s it. 

(Condom in image) courtesy of [posterize] / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

What if you already fucked without a condom?  Not a problem.  Know why?  Because relationships, ESPECIALLY sexual relationships, require ongoing consent.  Meaning that just because you did something before doesn’t mean you waive consent regarding that act for all of eternity.  If you already had sex sans condom and don’t want to do so again, there is a simple solution to this as well.

“We made a mistake not using a condom before and got lucky.  From now on you need to wear one.”

Again, that’s it.  The sooner you get comfortable being as pointed as possible about the things that matter most to you so that you can have guilt-free, regret-free, shameless sex, the better your interactions will be.

Now please know that in my experience, a man who quibbles with you on condom usage is not a nice person.  He puts his own needs and pleasure above yours, rather than in tandem with yours.  This will not change.  My advice is to keep these kind of men to one-nighters and occasional hook-ups, if you’re going to mess with them at all.  Also, he probably won’t make you cum, which isn’t just a bummer when you enter your ‘late-twenties’, but absofuckinglutely unacceptable.  Words to live by.

Work in Progress: What's Gilbert Eating?

So like I mentioned in my blog post: My First Project Kickoff, I am helping my friend Gilbert out with some delicious, freezer meals that he can cook at his convenience.

I am going to be making:

• BBQ Cranberry Chicken
• Lemon Garlic Chicken
• Chicken Tortilla Soup
• Apple Butter Porkchops
• Chicken Tacos

As well as pre-made smoothies for breakfast.

I am compiling  recipes from all over the internet and Pinterest. I am trying to make sure they are easy to make and to use. When you work all day you don't really want to start cooking at 7PM and eat even later. Fast food is usually the most efficient answer (and is fucking gross). Hoping this helps those in a time crunch. I suggest a good crock pot obviously and a rice make is always a good item to have. I will be posting recipe cards tomorrow.

Make it up as you go

So Derek and I hosted a Game of Thrones hangout to watch the season finale at our new apartment. Trying to think of what to serve but also being broke from moving into a new place, I decided to find out what my friend had in her pantry and compared it to what I have.

"Instant mashed potatoes and chicken" was her response.

Well after doing a bit of grocery shopping in my parents pantry on a trip to the coast, I decided to make this concoction:

Semi-Homemade Chicken Casserole Thing

(You can call it whatever you want)

Ingredients

Casserole

Thawed boneless skinless chicken breast (I used 3)

Bag of frozen veggies

2 Pouches of instant garlic mashed potatoes

1 can of cream of chicken soup (condensed)

4 cups of chicken broth
Seasoning of choice (Optional)

Biscuit Top

2 cups of Jiffy All-Purpose Baking Mix

2/3 cup of milk (may need to add more to max the right consistency)

Pre-heat oven to 450 degrees

• Bring the chicken broth to a boil. Turn down heat and add thawed chicken. Cover and simmer for 15 minutes or until cooked thoroughly. Remove chicken from pot and set aside. Reserve the chicken broth on the side.
• Prepare the mashed potatoes. Set aside.
• Shred the chicken either using two forks or your hands. 
• In a casserole dish, combine the cream of chicken soup and about 1 cup of the chicken broth. Mix in shredded chicken making sure to coat. Then mix in the veggies and potatoes. (I used two spoons to mix together) 
• Season however you prefer. 
• Make the biscuit dough. Spread over the top of the casserole. 

Bake for about 45 minutes or until the topping is golden brown.

Thanks to my friend Gilbert for making the biscuit mix. It was officially his first dish he made. (I am sure that isn't true, Gilbert!)

P.S. Totally forgot to take a picture of the final project. A few ideas, fresh veggies, whole potatoes, anything to add?

My First Project Kickoff

Part of my blog is going to be focusing on delicious, thoughtful food. Cooking with purpose. I notice a trend of delicious recipes offered online catering to those with families. It's just the two of us here and some of us out there cook for themselves.

I remember all through college my food going bad from neglect. Veggies all congealed and shit in the fridge. Ugh.

I want to make sure those who want to save some money but make some easy food have that option. I am going to be working towards fast and easy meals. As well as prepping food in advance for the person on the go.

My first journey will be with my good friend, Gilbert. We will be prepping meals for a week. Including breakfast and dinner. Meals he can just pop in the toaster oven or crock pot and go.

I will be putting together recipes, grocery list and more for this project so you can use it too!

Look for things here or on my Pinterest board!