New Series: Titillating Tuesdays!

I am happy to welcome the first guest post for this new series, Titillating Tuesdays! Our guest blogger (Ms. Anon) brings her perspective on sex and relationships.

Check out her new post:

On Why You Shouldn’t Fuck Anyone Who Argues With You About Safe-Sex and Using Protection

Why?  Because they’re assholes.  Period. 

Well, let me elaborate, from the perspective of a woman asking a man to use a condom.

What form of birth control you use is a personal decision that should be influenced by public knowledge that unprotected sexual intercourse can, and will lead to unintended pregnancies and the transmission of disease.

With that being said, there are a number of men who believe it is acceptable to have sex without a condom.  This may work well in the confines of a monogamous relationship, but let’s say you’re an ‘ethical slut’ (more on this later) and having just met someone, have decided you can’t wait to jump their bones.

First, congrats on following through with your desires- sex is fun and pleasure is good for you!  Second, where’s the condom?

A decent man will either gladly wear whatever freebies you got from your local Planned Parenthood or provide his own. Seriously, the willingness to wear a condom simply makes you decent.  You don’t deserve an award or ‘Nice Guy’ designation for being a responsible adult.

Now onto the dredge of society I like to call ‘I-just-don’t-like-the-way-it-feels-Guy’.  He will say he can’t orgasm with a condom on.  He will say it doesn’t fit right (shoulda brought your own cowboy).  He will say he won’t fuck you with a condom on.

At this point in my life, I just don’t have sex with men who give me any flack about wearing a condom.  This may seem harsh, but take a moment to think about the lack of respect it takes for a person to decide that regardless of the potential life-long health risks you both run, he thinks it’s more important that he be able to cum faster.

If you decide you’re willing to fuck someone who shows an obvious disregard for something this basic (maybe it’s a one-night stand and you could care less, I get it and have been there friend), there is a lot of internet advice on how to delicately ask “Why won’t you just fucking wear one?!”

Honestly, this advice is cloying- one should not manipulate or cajole anyone into something that needs to be as explicitly stated as safe sexual practices.  So here it is, the only thing you need to say to No-Condom-Guy:

“This is my preferred method of protection/birth control.  If you won’t wear one, I can’t have sex with you.”

That’s it. 

(Condom in image) courtesy of [posterize] / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

What if you already fucked without a condom?  Not a problem.  Know why?  Because relationships, ESPECIALLY sexual relationships, require ongoing consent.  Meaning that just because you did something before doesn’t mean you waive consent regarding that act for all of eternity.  If you already had sex sans condom and don’t want to do so again, there is a simple solution to this as well.

“We made a mistake not using a condom before and got lucky.  From now on you need to wear one.”

Again, that’s it.  The sooner you get comfortable being as pointed as possible about the things that matter most to you so that you can have guilt-free, regret-free, shameless sex, the better your interactions will be.

Now please know that in my experience, a man who quibbles with you on condom usage is not a nice person.  He puts his own needs and pleasure above yours, rather than in tandem with yours.  This will not change.  My advice is to keep these kind of men to one-nighters and occasional hook-ups, if you’re going to mess with them at all.  Also, he probably won’t make you cum, which isn’t just a bummer when you enter your ‘late-twenties’, but absofuckinglutely unacceptable.  Words to live by.